why is it that I only write when I'm crying?

because I have nothing to say when I'm okay or just floating by hoping to be unnoticed and go by with out having to put in any effort.

i should live my life like William Wilburforce. My new hero.

but what thing do I have to fight for passionately when all I care to do is wallow in misery and depression?

not much.

There are ten different ways I can write Maura's story. which way? how? God, how? help me get it out.